Somebody Kill Me! They Now Have AKB48 Dolls for Sale! All 90 of the Girls are Now Dolls!

Argggghhhh! I've died and gone to pop schlock musick hell! The worst music unit, AKB48, since the last one Japan came out with, whoever that was, has now been made into dolls! You know, like Barbie Dolls? I know my friend Ryu Oni over at Monkeyman in Japan will just be dying to get his hands on these!

Someone get me a barf bag!


CS Net Reports: 

What if the vice president of your university were a genius producer who had put together an insanely successful pop group of 90 singers and then approved the creation of identical doll versions of them? (I'd have him killed! - Mike)

Weird? Not for Kyoto University of Art and Design and Yasushi Akimoto, the Steve Jobs of otaku (supergeeks) in Japan. The school just hosted a hit exhibition of dolls based on the gals in the band he produces, AKB48.

At 90 members, AKB48 is the Guinness-certified world's largest pop band. Its members are all females in their teens and early twenties, and all its bubble-gum singles top the charts on the day of their release. (Oh, goody! - Mike)

The music is, shall we say, an aquired taste (Read: it sucks); it sounds like arcade game tunes drenched in a massive one-part vocal harmony. Yet intense otaku fandom has lifted the hydra-headed, miniskirted band to the highest levels of Japanese acceptability. It's even acting as Japan's unofficial representative in China. (War with China, again? - Mike)

I give the new AKB48 dolls "Two thumbs up!"

Yeah, so that I can gouge out my fricking eyes!

What makes this particularly disgusting is that girl's do not like AKB48, just geeky fat nerds in Japan. I'll bet they'll all be undressing the dolls with one hand and playing with their pud (pardon my French) in the other. 

Hell, if the cops are going to be busting people for weird and lurid behavior at SM clubs, why aren't the police stopping this? 


The AKB48 police? Oh, now, I might have just given these people another idea to make money!

Photos of Japan's Top Sexy Actresses and Models for February 2012

WARNING! PERHAPS THESE AREN'T SAFE FOR WORK!!! 

(Well, if you work at Victoria's Secret Catalogue, they're safe. If you work at the Baptist Church on the corner, they are definitely not safe!!!)

Here's the second edition of Japan's Top Sexy Actresses and Models. I am putting this up today because part one was so popular and this blog is just about to hit one million reads. That's not one million readers, mind you, but one million reads. That's not bad for a blog that is only about 18 months old. I also am anxious to get past the one million mark as this bothers me and I want to hurry up and get the "anti-climatic" ("-climatic" get it?) part over as soon as possible so here are these cheesecake photos.

This time I am putting the girl's names written in Japanese and English so that if you want to search for images or videos yourself, you can just by copying and pasting their names from here.

"Thank you Global Warming!" as my friend Kevin Riley would say!


Enjoy!

Saaya Irie 入江紗綾

Arisa Taki 滝ありさ 

Ai Shinozaki 篠崎愛

Mai Nishida 西田麻衣

Minase Yashiro 八代みなせ

Momo Nakajima 中島もも 

 Shizuka Nakamura 中村靜香 

 Asami Tada 多田あさみ

Yuri Murakami 村上友梨 

Rui Kiriyama 桐山瑠衣 

Reimi Tachibana 立花麗美 

Japan is heaven!

You can see part one of this series here.

Photos of Japan's Top Sexy Actresses and Models for December 2011

WARNING! PERHAPS THESE AREN'T SAFE FOR WORK!!! 
(Well, if you work at Victoria's Secret Catalogue, they're safe. If you work at the Baptist Church on the corner, they are definitely not safe!!!)

It's a Sunday morning so it's time for some entertainment...


My good friend in the states who wishes to remain nameless asks that I post the names and photos of the girls who I think are the most beautiful and sexiest in Japan today... I reckon that he wants to know the exact names - in English - so he can do his own, er, "research." OK. This blog is about Japan. Japan has tons of extremely sexy women.... I also hear that 70% of Internet surfers worldwide are men. I am a man. I blog. I need readers, so here is a shameless attempt to get more readers, er, "viewers . 


(Some people ask me, "Mike, are you doing this for the money?" And I answer, "Why, yes. How did you know?")


So, without further ado. Here's the first edition of Japan's Top Sexy Actresses and Models. I guess, from looking at these cheesecake photos, I should make this a regularly scheduled blog post. Ahem...

Mikie Hara

Arisa Taki

Haruka Ayase

Aya Kikuchi

Ai Shinozaki

Nonami Takizawa

Arisa Taki

See Feb 2012 Top Sexy Japanese Actresses and Models here: http://modernmarketingjapan.blogspot.com/2012/02/photos-of-japans-top-sexy-actresses-and.html

Ai Shinozaki

Sora Aoi

Aikawa Mina

And, of course, my current favorite, Yukie Kawamura who starred in the "classic" splatter film, "Vampire Girl versus Frankenstein Girl."

Of course, I say that Yukie Kawamura is my current favorite, but you wouldn't kick any of these girls out of bed for eating sembei (rice crackers).

See Feb 2012 Top Sexy Japanese Actresses and Models here: http://modernmarketingjapan.blogspot.com/2012/02/photos-of-japans-top-sexy-actresses-and.html

Japan's Best and Sexist Girl's Rock Band's (Nov. 2011)

It's a Sunday and I have friends coming over for massive drinking and a barbeque. That means I'm pretty booked with sheet to do.

Kinoko Hotel

Nevertheless, here's a blog post that I've wanted to write for quite a while. There are lots of people who think Japanese rock bands suck. Most of them do. But, strange as it may seem, there are lots of really good Japanese rock bands, it's just that they never get hugely popular in this country as Japan is obsessed with stupid crap like AKB48 and girls doing soft porn video.


AKB48 are terrible. Anyone who buys their CDs should be shot (to put them and the rest of us out of our misery).


But, like I said, there are many good Japanese rock bands. Especially sexy girls bands... And there's also a very cool Retro thang going on here that I really like... Oh, and by the way, the best Japanese bands don't sing in English because they don't give a sh*t about the American Top 40... You shouldn't either... I mean, why would any good band want to be like Lady Gaga or Madonna anyway? 


For your Sunday viewing pleasure, here are several. First two up from my current favorite Japanese girl's band (I change favorites weekly)...Enjoy!

Kinoko Hotel - Fool

Kinoko Hotel - Midnight Angel Baby:

Molice - Ms. Panic

The Milkees - Lovelever:

Red Bacteria Vacuum - Roller Coaster:

Thee 50's Highteens - Surprise Sun:

The Let's Go's! - Rock & Roll Star:

Who the Bitch - Summer:

Hell, seriously, there's a lot more! I'll be posting about them too soon. Stay tuned!

Thanks to Ken Nishikawa and George Williams who has the Top 5 countdown online every week.

My New Favorite Blog

Recently I have been reading a blog by a guy named James Altucher. I like what he writes. A lot. What he writes sometimes bothers me because he hits too close to home.

Let me flatter myself by saying that we often cover the same material excepting his writing is better than mine because he is even more self-unconfident and paranoid than I am. 


James is also Jewish. 


Being Jewish seems best for having a paranoia or guilt complex. Just ask one of my favorite comedians and movie directors, Woody Allen, about that! 

There are girls like this running around in Tokyo!

They give me an awful "victim complex."... Oh wait,

"victim complex" isn't what they call it....

I am half-Japanese Hillbilly American so I never had a guilt complex or such bad paranoia. And, considering the Japanese economic miracle, pretty Japanese girls, sushi and Ichiro Suzuki, I guess having Japanese blood doesn't work too well as a vehicle for having a guilt complex in order to get laughs. 


Woody Allen and the Monkees can complain about people like, say, Auntie Grizelda... I don't think complaining about Auntie Katsuko has that certain ring that makes people laugh. 


I had always thought that since I was 1/2 Japanese I was somehow superior (maybe like some mustached Germans did). 


People reading this blog are Homo Sapiens. Being half-Japanese made me believe that I was Homo Superior. I still think that 1/2 people, be they 1/2 Japanese American or 1/2 Chinese British, or 1/2 Korean Canadian are somehow Homo Superior if only because we have some idea about two cultures. Don't they say that two heads are better than one?


If somehow I were half-Jewish and half-Japanese then I might be the Ernest Hemingwitz of the modern age. Alas, I am not.


Too bad my dad wasn't Jewish, then I could be an insecure little Jewish nutcase, that I should have been, writing hilarious vignettes for millions of dollars a piece. Now, I am just a regular nutcase. No big deal. There's lots of those.


NOTE: That's weird. I don't want to write about Jews, Gays, Nazi's, or people who are crazy, yet that is the way this blog has turned recently. Perhaps my recent trip to the USA did screw my mind!


Anyhow, back to the point. I found a new blog that I really like. It's quirky and might take a while to get used to but I highly recommend it.


His name is James Altucher. One of my favorite blog posts of his is "Dealing With Crappy People". In that post he talks about his methods of dealing with jerks and the four types of people. I will probably lose you as a reader, because his writing is better than mine, but please go and read that. It's a wonderful post.


If I lose you as a reader because you find James' blog more satisfying then that's OK with me. It just might help me with my new schtick: Loser Paranoid half-Japanese guy.


Think I can sellout Las Vegas shows with that?