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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Stupid Foreigners in Japan! The 97% of bad apples spoil it for the rest of the 3% - When in Japan, do as the Japanese do in spite of yourself



Being a foreigner in Japan is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you are allowed to slide by the locals if you make some faux pas when it comes to courtesy or business manners. Because you are a foreigner, there's all sorts of rules that you might not be expected to know and follow. As long as you are sincere and show that you are making the effort to assimilate and do like the Romans do, then the Japanese are quite forgiving for minor transgressions. In fact, the smart foreign businessman can use this to great advantage.


I have many times. I find that being a foreigner is a huge advantage.


On the other hand, because you are a foreigner, there's all sorts of things you probably cannot or won't be allowed to do. It's not as bad as it used to be but some of those things are things you'd take for granted back home like renting an apartment, getting a bank loan or getting a good job even!


It's hard to try to make a living when you are a foreigner in Japan. Not only do you have to deal with language problems and a Japanese language that changes everyday, no matter what you do, you can't change your face. So no matter how much you try to assimilate, study the language, learn the customs and drink like a fish you'll always be a foreigner.


In spite of what of what foreigners think, this guy at least doesn't sully the image of foreigners like today's examples do. Who cares if this image is of a straight laced foreigner bumpkin? The Japanese see him as a cartoon character. 


Not only is the mere fact of being a foreigner a double edge sword, we have these dumbsh*t foreigners all around us here who are messing things up for the rest of us.


I've often said on my radio program that, "日本にいる外国人は97%いいかげん" (Nihon ni iru gaijin 97% ha ikagen) which translates to "97% of all foreigners in Japan are undependable (or useless)." 


You folks think I jest, but I don't. I do think most foreigners in Japan are pretty useless and I think you cannot depend on most of them at all. Heck, look who's talking! I think I can't depend on me too many times! Especially when it comes to raising kids! (Oh parenthood and the irresponsibilities that come with it!) But what some of these other foreigners do is just unbelievable!


Looking like a stoner in the west might be cool. In Japan? 


One might say that "A few bad apples spoil it for the rest." Not in the case of foreigners in Japan. The vast majority are screwing it up for the minority of us who are trying to fit in and not raise too much hell and be good neighbors. 


In Japan the group is very important. Westerners have a hard time understanding this. But your actions will affect the group whether you like it or not. Like I said, it's hard enough trying to fit in and make a living without the peanut gallery screwing things up for the rest of us.


And speaking about screwing up. In today's news, TODAY, there's two stories about two dipsh*t foreigners who have screwed up big time. 


First from the Japan Times:


Ex-TV personality held over rape, robbery
A 25-year-old former TV personality who had been accused of robbery and injury in another case was rearrested Wednesday on suspicion of raping and robbing a woman after breaking into her apartment in Tokyo, police said.
According to the Metropolitan Police Department, Alexander Lee Dela Fuente broke into the Ota Ward apartment of the woman in her 20s at about midnight on June 28. He chloroformed her until she became unconscious, and then raped her and stole 5,000 yen and a cash card, police said.
Moron! He did this for ¥5,000!? I'm speechless.

This is bad for my business as it just makes the Japanese suspicious of foreign TV & radio talent and foreigners in general. What Alexander doesn't realize is that, besides never getting a TV job again, his former management agency just got a massive black mark and things like this cause agencies to go bankrupt and people to lose their jobs. You know, like people who have kids to feed?

Like I said, foreigners need to understand how actions here affect the group. Had this clown still been a TV reporter, committing a crime like this would cause the entire show to be cancelled. That means a bunch of staff people, cameramen, writers, lighting people, assistants (people with children and rents to pay) all lose their jobs.  Several years ago I caught a guy on one show I produced doing drugs. I fired him from the show on the spot. I had to. If he got caught by the police, our show would have ended immediately and everyone would be out of a job. Once again, everyone had families to feed and responsibilities. I couldn't take the risk. I had no choice but to fire him right then and there.

The next story about "Gaijin F's Up Big Time!" comes from the Japan Times Online. This story is especially damaging and I also have a unique interest in this case. It is about a star player on the Japanese Basketball league who has gotten arrested for importing more than a kilogram of marijuana to Japan. He did it in the mail for chrissakes! What an idiot!

(Er, by the way, did I mention that 97% of all foreigners in Japan are useless and undependable? I did? Okay. Thanks.)

Why I am interested in this story is because the Japanese basketball league has been struggling for years to make a dent in this country. Just this year it looked as if they had turned the corner. I went to their all-star game at Saitama arena and the place was packed with 14,000 paying guests! It was a great time!

Next year the league is going to expand and a new team is being started in Tokyo. The fans and the media have great expectations. I had great expectations as they are slated to use my company to sell tickets to their games, so not only do I have a fan's interest, I have a small financial interest.

Now, on today's news, I see a familiar face! Why, isn't that the guy who won the MVP award at the all-star game I was just at with my son a few weeks ago? By golly, it is!

The  Japan Times Online reports in Evessa's Washington Arrested in Drug Case:

Osaka Evessa power forward Lynn Washington, the most famous player in bj-league history, was arrested at 10:20 a.m on Tuesday for alleged involvement in the importation of between 1 kg and 1.5 kg of marijuana, media reports stated the same day.
Washington was booked by Osaka Prefectural Police on Tuesday, according to published reports. His 32-year-old wife, Dana, was arrested last month, it was reported.

 In November, Washington's wife's name was on a package that allegedly contained marijuana and was shipped to Osaka from the United States. The marijuana had an estimated street value of up to ¥9 million, according to news reports.
For Washington, a two-time bj-league MVP, a Cannabis Control Law violation could signal the end of his career in Japan, and a decline for one of the league's great teams.
League spokesman Akihiro Ejima said a meeting is planned for Thursday, and representatives of all 19 teams will be included to discuss this issue. It essentially boils down to this: How will the league handle what has become incredibly bad publicity for a circuit that is struggling to capture the public's attention?

See? The actions of this incredibly dumb foreigner have now damaged the livelihood of basically everyone in the league and their families. What an a*shole! I've written before how screwing around with pot in Japan is a good way to get free room and board at the local penitentiary, no ifs ands or buts!... But a professional basketball player shipping this stuff from the USA through the postal service? 

That's like walking around with a sticker on your head that says, "Arrest me!"

Hopeless! 

I don't really have any snappy ending to this post. I guess I could just say a few things...

It's hard enough to make a living anywhere in the world, even if you are a local. In Japan, us foreigners have all sorts of disadvantages - as well as advantages. I'm the type of guy who, in spite of myself, likes to put the best foot forward. All I can say is that, "This is Japan." If you want to smoke marijuana, you shouldn't be here. It doesn't matter if you think the laws are wrong or that marijuana isn't bad for you. That's besides the point. Marijuana is against the law and they will throw you in jail for possession.

If you want to rob or rape, or commit any type of crimes, and you are a foreigner, then Japan isn't ideal for that either. Know why? Pssst! Don't look now, but as a foreigner, you stick out like a sore a*shole. It's not like you are going to steal a purse and then run into a crowd of Japanese and disappear while you blend in.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in Japan, do as the Japanese do. If you are not going to assimilate, then please do the rest of us a favor and leave. You won't be missed.


NOTE: The purpose of this post isn't to bash foreigners in Japan, per se. It is, hopefully, to serve as a warning to people. Everyone makes mistakes. I've made way more than I care to remember. But through these mistakes, we learn. I see these people who were arrested and shake my head. Of course I've never committed a crime that involved a victim, but I have done many things that were illegal and that I am ashamed of. I hope, in my probably most confused thinking, that someone might read this and think carefully about what they are doing while living here in Japan... Like I pointed out, your actions will not only affect you and your life, it will affect others that you work with and care about. Remember that.

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