Dead Sushi - Soon to Be "Classic" Japanese Cinema

Oh, modern Japanese cinema has outdone itself this time.... For the first time this week! 

Dead Sushi. Attack of the Killer Sushi. Here's the trailer for Noboru Iguchi's newest! Another low-grade splatter horror film from Japan! 

Rina Takeda will kick your a*s... 

Actually she probably could as she really can do karate!

It's sushi erotica starring Rina Takeda Japan's real karate girl actress!

Japan has been coming out with a lot of this gore type of b-grade horror flick.

Yukie Kawamura

Who could forget the hit "Vampire Girl Versus Frankenstein Girl" starring hot and sexy Japanese star Yuki Kawamura?

Thanks to film critic, Ken Nishikawa

Japan is a Peaceful Country - Crime of the Week? Sharks in Parks! Shark Attack!

Japan is a very peaceful country. Ask the Japanese, ask anyone who has ever been here. The Japanese will tell you, "日本は平和な国" ("Nihon wa heiwa na kuni" - Japan is a peaceful country). It is. Japan is an extremely peaceful country. In the west you constantly have news about grotesque crimes, murders, bombings and wars, in Japan? News about ducks crossing a road in downtown Tokyo.

Left: My image of typical USA news. 

Right: Naked anime girl seems typical Japanese news 

The crimes that hit the news sources in Japan are completely out of this world when compared to the crimes that hit the news compared to, say, the United States. In the USA, the news is about riots, police brutality, government spying on citizens, Americans losing their freedoms, white collar crimes and idiocy about what kind of fashions movie stars are wearing. 

Ducks crossing busy streets in the world's most crowded city, 

Tokyo, was big news for several years in Japan.

Photo from NTV - Channel 4 Nihon TV (Japan TV) Network 

In the USA, there are roughly 17,000 murders per year. Japan, with roughly half the population of the USA has about 1,000 murders a year... Many of those murders are murder suicides so it is not exactly an apples to apple comparison. If there is a murder in the USA, it doesn't even hit the news unless the victim is a famous person or the relative of a famous person. In Japan, a murder usually becomes big news all over the TV and news networks for weeks after the incident.

The comparison of US news and Japan's news shows two countries that are as different as night and day. Here's things I skimmed from Yahoo news just now.


In the USA: 


*Police Beat Protestors
*Hillary Clinton Commits Fashion Faux Pas at G20 Meeting
*Teen Rapes 5-year-old at Ohio McDonald's
*More Catholic Priests Accused of Molestation
*Shooter Says Angel That Ordered Him to Kill Looked Like Olivia Newton-John


Okay. Yeah, that cops beating people up story has been going on for a long time. It's winter now, just wait until it warms up again and then we'll start seeing more of this. Hillary Clinton's fashion? Ugh. The only thing worse than kissing Hillary Clinton would be to kiss Imelda Marcos. Who cares what her fashion is? Why are Americans so concerned with what people are wearing? Teen rapes 5-year-old? At a McDonald's? WTF!? Priests rape kids? Same old, same old... Murder says angel that told him to do it looks like Olivia Newton John? Well aren't all angels beautiful like Farrah Fawcet or Olivia Neutron Bomb?

Now let's look at the news in Japan:


*Fukushima Nuclear Plant Toured by Journalists
*Three People Found Dead of Starvation in Saitama
*Search for Disaster Victims on Fukushima Coast
*Emperor Leaves Hospital After Surgery
*Dead 1.5 Meter Long Shark Left in Park Has Cops Fishing for Motive

Right. Dead 1.5 meter (about 4.5 foot long) shark left in public park?... Wait!.... What?!


Japan Times has the story: 

A dead shark found in Tokyo's Yoyogi Park has sparked an investigation into who brought it there, an officer at Yoyogi Police Station said Monday.

A park security guard called the police at 7 a.m. Sunday after finding the shark, which was covered by a blue tarp and measured about 1½ meters long, the police said.

The shark had been gutted and was found near a parking lot for bicycles near one of the entrances leading to JR Shibuya Station.

"The shark was not rotten, so I guess someone left the shark not so long ago," Hiroshi Okano, a deputy chief at Yoyogi Police Station, told The Japan Times by telephone. He said the police station is keeping its carcass at a storage facility there.

Okano wouldn't disclose any other details because the matter is still under investigation as an illegal dumping case.

On Twitter, dozens of posts from Feb. 14 to early on Feb. 15 said a shark was being exhibited in front of a sushi restaurant in Shibuya. The tweets later said someone had taken it away.

Only in Japan! And, actually, this is a pretty big story here in Japan. So what the deal is was is it seems that this shark was on display in front of a sushi shop. The sushi shops claims that some dumb gaijin (foreigner) told the sushi shop that we was an artist and wanted the shark to use to create some artwork. So, the sushi shops gave it to him. They say he must have dumped the shark in the park...

Uh, huh... Riiiiiiiight. Now, pun intended, but that story sounds really fishy! I don't believe that for a minute and it seems that the police don't either. It also strikes me as odd that the supposed perpetrator of this heinous crime is, of course, the unknown and shady foreigner...

Now, we all know that all foreigners in Japan are criminals, crack-addicts, sun-glass wearing untrustworthy, despicable characters (present company excluded)... But I don't know too many who have a hankering to be walking around carrying a 1.5 meter long shark under their arm... Also, considering that all artists (and musicians) are dirt poor, how is this artist going to get this shark home? On the train? And to think that a sushi shop is going to pay several hundred dollars for a fish (yeah, yeah, I know a shark isn't a fish) then just give it away to some guy walking up the street is a bit too much to believe.

Let me just say, "I don't think so."

I seems that the police don't believe this story either and are "grilling" (pun intended) the people from the sushi shop. It seems obvious to me that they had this huge shark that they didn't know what to do with and some Einstein there decided to dump it in the park and blame it on the scummy foreigners...

Heck, that's what any thinking person would do! 

Well, that's the sort of thing that hits the news in Japan.

Ok. Maybe I would call the police... Or at least the the Coast Guard or the navy!

The other thing about this that really surprises me is that the park attendant, upon finding the shark, would actually bother to call the police? Really? If it were me, I'd just get a big trash bag and throw it out on trash day. The other thing is that the police would actually bother with this. Do the police in Japan actually have so much free time that they'd launch and investigation as to where this shark came from?

Don't those police clowns have any real criminals to catch? No they don't... They only have traffic tickets to give out and sushi to eat, in between raiding prostitution parlors and arresting S&M dominatrix queens.

Nihon wa heiwa na kuni. Japan is a peaceful country. (With the police wasting our tax money).


Thanks to Marta Karpinska

Bizarre Goings on Under the Sea - Japanese Fishermen Sight a Humanoid Species at the Antarctic

I just was sent some documents by some guys overseas and asked to translate into English what was written on them. I think they are pulling my leg. But, they sent me these photos and a video link also. The stuff talks about humanoid creatures that have been seen by Japanese fishermen off the Antarctic. If you are a fan of TV shows like X-Files, then you will find this stuff very interesting.

Artist's rendition or my nightmare tonight. I often dream of fishing...

Seriously, is this some kind of joke? Halloween is already past. Anyway, always interested in being humored, I looked at the stuff and the photos. Here's most of the goodies for you on this page. Remember that the truth is always stranger than fiction!


Anyway, just for starters, watch these two short videos. What the heck is that thing?

After watching these, I did some searches and did find some head scratching things. Here's what I found was written about these creatures:

Behold "The Ningen": A Terrifying Cryptoid 

The "Ningen" a large-scale unidentified creature that appears in the Antarctic Ocean. "Ningen" means literally "human being" in Japanese, it`s allegedly a very large unknown animal sighted by Japanese fishers, which bares an uncanny resemblance to us humans.

Well, I don't know the kind of people you've been hanging around with, but these creatures don't look like anyone I know. But they are weird looking. When I read the above I knew that the best place to look for more on this sort of "out of this world" stuff would be, where else? Pink Tentacle.

Pink Tentacle. Here's what they had:

Over the past few years, rumors have circulated in Japan about the existence of gigantic humanoid life-forms inhabiting the icy waters of the Antarctic.

Reportedly observed on multiple occasions by crew members of government-operated "whale research" ships, these so-called "Ningen" (lit. "humans") are said to be completely white in color with an estimated length of 20 to 30 meters. Eyewitnesses describe them as having a human-like shape, often with legs, arms, and even five-fingered hands. Sometimes they are described as having fins or a large mermaid-like tail instead of legs. The only visible facial features are the eyes and mouth.

According to one account, crew members on deck observed what they initially thought was a foreign submarine in the distance. When they approached, however, it became clear from the irregular shape of the thing that it was not man-made -- it was alive. The creature quickly disappeared under water.

For the most part, the existence of the Ningen is considered an urban legend. Much of the information about this rumored creature can be traced back to a series of posts on the 2channel forums, written by a person describing the experience of a friend employed on a government "whale research" vessel. (Read the full Japanese text of the original story that first appeared on a 2channel forum) http://homepage3.nifty.com/Daiou3/Ningen.html

Anyway, to get another quick, brief (and fun) rundown on this stuff, watch this video that I found. It's good for entertainment purposes anyway:

Well, that's some pretty bizarre stuff, I'll admit. But rumor has it that these were seen by Japanese fishermen off the Antarctic? Well that makes sense to me. If I were a Japanese fisherman far away with nothing else to do, I'd be drinking sake all the time too.


Maybe what they saw was like this Russian Alien Fish?: 

Anyway, bizarre goings on or out to sea for too long? You be the judge. Personally, for me, I don't believe it. You know why? Well, everyone knows that if the Japanese find some new seas creature the very first things they'll do is not photograph it! Heck the first thing all Japanese do when they find a new fish is to slice it open and throw some wasabi and soy sauce on it and try it our for sushi.


As for this guy? No thanks. But just you wait, it will wind up some new sushi delicacy in no time.

Using iPad's Instead of Waitresses Taking Orders With Old Fashioned Menus is Often a VERY Bad Idea!

On the last day of 2011, the family went to our favorite sushi restaurant located in Isehara. Isehara is an hour away from our home by car so we get to go to this restaurant about twice a year when visiting my wife's parents. The place is delicious.

Even though this sushi-ya easily sits about 150 people, it is almost always packed. If you go there for dinner, as we often do, you'd better get there before 5:15 or you can expect to have to wait for an hour or more to be seated. After 6:30 pm until 9 pm? Don't even bother. We did that once. Never again. 


We get there early or we don't go.


On New Year's Eve, we arrived just at opening time and comfortably sat down. I expected a massive rush of folks to enter the restaurant soon after; like has happened every year for the past 5 or 6 years. But it didn't happen. In fact, when we left the restaurant there were several empty tables and no one was waiting to be seated.


"What happened?" I thought. "What has changed?" The food was just as delicious and just as reasonably priced as before, but something was different. 


I thought about it. It was readily recognizable upon entry to the restaurant. It seemed the place had lost some of its zip, "freshness" and vitality... It wasn't the same talkative and friendly shop as before.


Why? How could that have happened? The staff were all the same so management didn't change. What could it be?


After thinking about it for a moment, I concluded that it was point-of-sale iPad devices on all the tables for the purpose of allowing customers to place their own orders. I think this was the key (and a huge mistake) in destroying atmosphere and the good feeling one gets when experiencing a restaurant that relies heavily on human interaction like a sushi shop does.

With the rise of the Internet and the bursting on the scene of the iPad and few years ago and the copy-cats that have all followed, many businesses look to this sort of technology to save them in times of an aching economy. I think far too many businesses are making a huge mistake and looking for love in all the wrong places.

If you are considering using an iPad or like technology to increase your businesses profitability then I strongly suggest that you first always consider this point: It's awful hard to beat a pencil and paper. Is using technology going to be faster and more beneficial to your business?

I think, in many cases I've seen, it is actually a detriment. 

In many cases, far too many to be sure, using an iPad to allow customers input their own orders, especially in the case of better restaurants is a very bad idea. Here's why....

Think about this: is your restaurant the type of business that is highly dependent on communicating with customers? If it is, then iPad point of sale software is not for you.

Fujimaru in Isehara. Food is great. Ordering system not.

Here's a good example: Take a Denny's-type of restaurant. It is cheap and the menu doesn't, nor is it expected to, change often. People often go to Denny's to burn up time, read a book or to drink coffee while completing some work. They are not there to talk with the waitress. Compare that with a good sushi restaurant whose menu might change daily depending on the catch of the day or one that has a friendly chef who knows the value of talking to customers and communicating. How valuable is it when a customer can ask, "What do you recommend?" The sushi chef smiles and replies....

Also, as I mentioned, is communication important between your restaurant staff and customers? If you have a bar-type of establishment where people, often alone by themselves, come up to the bar to sit and order, then this type of iPad ordering is definitely not for you. Whenever I go this type of establishment, I go there for fun, conversation and comfort. I want to talk to the bartender (or sushi chef or head waiter) who I probably know and have a friendly relationship with (in the case of drinkers this would be called, a "brotherhood" or "confidant"). 

Think about that. Drinks are basically the same from one establishment to another. What makes one bar better than the other? (They used to call sushi restaurants "sushi bars"). In the example of drinks, the difference is ambiance and the bartender and staff. In the case of sushi, I might want to ask the sushi chef what he recommends as the freshest for the day.

The use of an iPad sort of device for customers to place their own orders at a restaurant must definitely serve to better the user/customer experience at the restaurant. It must also speed the process up, not slow it down. Think about that also, at a fine French or Italian restaurant, would you think the customer would be happy with tapping on an iPad to order? What about showing off to the friend or girlfriend that this customer is a regular and knows the staff by name? Using a iPad for ordering at a Denny's or McDonald's? Probably a resounding, "Yes!" Cordon Bleu or a "Top 50 restaurant in New York City?" Absolutely Not!  

No matter how much I love iPad, they would never enhance the experience at a top class restaurant. Also, the utter idea that people can play games online while waiting for their dish to come to their table is absurd, unless, of course, as I said, you are targeting a lower income (and single) audience. I seriously doubt that if I were on a date, I'd take a girl to a place where, while waiting for drinks or food, we'd be playing some online games.

What a awful date and terrible experience that would be.  

Communicating with a sushi chef is fun. Why degrade the experience?

That's the key word here: Experience. If the placement of iPad point of sale menu ordering device does nothing to damage the experience, then I think they might be a good idea (I said, 'might') but when a service organization (keyword: service) implements this sort of device and makes their 'service' less personal and colder, they are making a big mistake.


Finally, as I thought about all these things as we were about to get up from the table to leave the sushi restaurant, I (like I usually do) thought, "I'd like to have just one more sushi for the road." I looked at the iPad and thought, "Forget it. Too much trouble." Think about this one too. The sushi chef is standing five feet away from me on my left. If I say, "Maguro kudasai!" (Tuna, please!) that takes about 0.5 seconds. If I have to use the iPad for ordering (which he asked me to do) I have to pick it up; tap food menu; find sushi; rolls or nigiri? Then I have to tap the order... By the way, I like extra wasabi, but can't find where that is located on the iPad? I've spent 6 seconds tapping and trying to find what I want to order. Do I order the last one for the road? Nope.


I'll bet many people have thought the same thing. How much money in sales did that establishment lose from people just like me who thought the same thing?..."I want an extra order, but the hassle isn't worth it for one. Forget it." And I even own an iPad and am pretty well versed in using one. But that doesn't matter, it's not the iPod exactly that's the problem, it's the software too and a huge menu that Christopher Columbus couldn't find on a map!!! Think about that! Especially at a restaurant (like a fine restaurant or sushi shop) that is not cheap and has a large portion of their customers near 55-years-old or older... An audience who has the disposable money to spend on some of the finer things... Older people of which most have never touched an iPad in their life. Will they make that last minute compulsive/impulsive order? I don't think so... Heck, it's a hassle and they can't figure out how to do it. 


It takes 0.5 seconds to make a verbal order. Using the iPad takes time (and patience)... Not a pleasant experience. It's a hassle.


You've got a serious problem if people think ordering your product is a hassle.


As an aside, nearly 10% of the US population has compulsive buying complex Oniomania (for better or worse). I'm sure the Japanese are just as bad if not worse... If you are a business owner (and not a psychiatrist) then you need all the sales you can get. Using devices that suppress compulsive or impulse buying or ordering (especially when people are drinking and having fun) seems foolish to me. But, like I said, there might be good applications, it's just that I am not intelligent enough to see them, I suppose.


Here's how I calculate it: If one plate of sushi costs $3; And some part timer gets paid $8 an hour; and the restaurant has 150 seats and turns them over once every 1.5 hours; and, say, 15 (10%) of those people might have impulsively bought one last plate of sushi, then I don't see how utilizing this iPad ordering device saves me any money in lowering labor costs. I just lost $37 every 1.5 hours. Of course, this is a very rough estimate but I think estimates and judgements like this are very important.


As I walked out the door and looked at the empty tables, I wondered if the customers who used to come to this restaurant went to another shop? Another shop where they can talk and interact the old fashioned way (when it comes to food when is the "old fashioned way" not the best way?) better with someone who smiles at them and communicates with them so that they don't have to feel so lonely; they can have more and fun... Conversation with a waiter or waitress or chef can also be a very fun and beneficial thing.


What's the price tag on warmth, communication and laughter? Of course, with the iPad ordering, at this shop, there are still waiters and chefs and you can talk to them. But when I wanted to order, they hurried by and said,


"Please place your order using the ordering device on the table." What's the cost of that?


Thanks, but no thanks. I noticed that I felt a little betrayed and uncared for. Here we knew these sushi chefs and waiters, for years, yet they told us every time to order using the iPads....  I did talk with one of the waiters who knows us well and even he alluded to much staff dissatisfaction with the new rules on ordering.


In my case, the experience was lowered. My wife concurred. In the case of my in-laws (in their 70's) they didn't like it at all. My eight year old son thought it was cool... Too bad he is not the one who pays for the food. 

Romantic? Good atmosphere? Stylish? You be the judge

I think, in the case of a sushi shop, if they are going to use this type of device to take orders for sushi, then they might as well have robots making the sushi too.


Remember that it is hard to beat a pencil and paper for speed and human communication is priceless and irreplaceable. iPads are awesome devices when used for what they were designed for. I can't see how using an iPad for ordering at a restaurant that has a constantly changing menu or several dozen (even one hundred) items on the menu can enhance the user (customer) experience. If there are many items on the menu, it makes navigating the menu difficult. Imagine what it does to a first time customer? I think it makes sure they are not repeat customers.


I might be able to see the benefits if the restaurant only has a dozen or two items on the menu... But, then again, if the restaurant only has a few dozen items to order, why bother?


I think restaurateurs need to think long and hard about putting this kind of technology in their restaurants. Generally speaking, I can't see how it cuts costs or increases profits.


Placing a square peg in a round hole has never been a good idea. Use the right tools for the right job.

My New Favorite Blog

Recently I have been reading a blog by a guy named James Altucher. I like what he writes. A lot. What he writes sometimes bothers me because he hits too close to home.

Let me flatter myself by saying that we often cover the same material excepting his writing is better than mine because he is even more self-unconfident and paranoid than I am. 


James is also Jewish. 


Being Jewish seems best for having a paranoia or guilt complex. Just ask one of my favorite comedians and movie directors, Woody Allen, about that! 

There are girls like this running around in Tokyo!

They give me an awful "victim complex."... Oh wait,

"victim complex" isn't what they call it....

I am half-Japanese Hillbilly American so I never had a guilt complex or such bad paranoia. And, considering the Japanese economic miracle, pretty Japanese girls, sushi and Ichiro Suzuki, I guess having Japanese blood doesn't work too well as a vehicle for having a guilt complex in order to get laughs. 


Woody Allen and the Monkees can complain about people like, say, Auntie Grizelda... I don't think complaining about Auntie Katsuko has that certain ring that makes people laugh. 


I had always thought that since I was 1/2 Japanese I was somehow superior (maybe like some mustached Germans did). 


People reading this blog are Homo Sapiens. Being half-Japanese made me believe that I was Homo Superior. I still think that 1/2 people, be they 1/2 Japanese American or 1/2 Chinese British, or 1/2 Korean Canadian are somehow Homo Superior if only because we have some idea about two cultures. Don't they say that two heads are better than one?


If somehow I were half-Jewish and half-Japanese then I might be the Ernest Hemingwitz of the modern age. Alas, I am not.


Too bad my dad wasn't Jewish, then I could be an insecure little Jewish nutcase, that I should have been, writing hilarious vignettes for millions of dollars a piece. Now, I am just a regular nutcase. No big deal. There's lots of those.


NOTE: That's weird. I don't want to write about Jews, Gays, Nazi's, or people who are crazy, yet that is the way this blog has turned recently. Perhaps my recent trip to the USA did screw my mind!


Anyhow, back to the point. I found a new blog that I really like. It's quirky and might take a while to get used to but I highly recommend it.


His name is James Altucher. One of my favorite blog posts of his is "Dealing With Crappy People". In that post he talks about his methods of dealing with jerks and the four types of people. I will probably lose you as a reader, because his writing is better than mine, but please go and read that. It's a wonderful post.


If I lose you as a reader because you find James' blog more satisfying then that's OK with me. It just might help me with my new schtick: Loser Paranoid half-Japanese guy.


Think I can sellout Las Vegas shows with that? 

Is Groupon a Viable, Sustainable Business? No.

"May you live in interesting times." - Ancient Chinese curse


These last few days have been very interesting for me. I have learned more about a company named Groupon than I care to know. I have had my initial blog about the Groupon New Year's fiasco written about in news sites all over the world. 


And, for that, and what I wrote, I have been lambasted and praised at the same time. I don't care about Groupon lover's blasting me... It's when the people who are ambivalent who take me to task that make me take notice. 



Getting criticized is the part that hurts the most, but it is also the part that benefits me the most, so thanks (seriously) to those folks who criticize and do so fairly. I take my lumps. I know make mistakes far too often and trust that I am trying to do better.


Anyhow...


I am not a shopper at all. In fact, I hate shopping. I don't really enjoy going out so much anymore either. I like staying at home. I am a lazy sod.


I worked in the music business for decades, yet, over this last 10 ~ 15 years, I rarely even go to concerts even though, when I do, I am always treated like a VIP and have never paid to go to a concert since I've been in Japan. 


Free drinks and hanging out backstage and acting like a real rock & roller was fun... But I am not 25-years-old anymore....


In my old age, I have become interested in just a few things; my children, making money, business news, Internet and reading books. Nope. It's not much of a swinger lifestyle for this old boy.


I am typical of the Japanese style of husband; like over 80% of all Japanese households, my wife handles all the money in my house. I get an allowance. My wife controls all the money here. All of it. I rarely carry a credit card and, if I need cash, I ask my wife for it. Since I am not usually interested in buying anything, even if I do carry cash, I rarely carry cash over a few dollars in my wallet at a time.


Because of this, I don't shop. Because I don't shop, I am not the least bit interested in something like Groupon or prices. On the other hand, since I am interested in the Internet, I had a surface understanding of Groupon...


I was so jealous of things like Groupon... Even though I couldn't understand it, I was jealous that someone else was making all this money on something and I wasn't.


The story of my life.


In these last few days, though, I have had a crash course in Groupon. The more I know about it, the less I like it. The best information came from my friend Mish Shedlock and one of my other best friends who I am sure would want to remain nameless (as he has friends doing Groupon in Japan and I'm sure he doesn't want to offend them).


Until a few days ago, I thought I couldn't understand well what the big commotion was about Groupon. Now, I am 100% sure that I can't. 


Groupon today in Japan reminds me of how Amway was in Japan in the mid-1980's: many people were doing it and it was all the rage. Today you never hear about Amway at all...


I am beginning to suspect that this will be the case with Groupon within the next few years. Actually, this is not my original notion. I have come to this conclusion from talking to my friend who is an extremely successful entrepreneur in Japan and from reading what Mish Shedlock wrote about Groupon.


Here's what Mish Shedlock wrote:


Look at Groupon’s Model. They tell clients that if they make money, their offer is priced too high. That's does wonders for Groupon's phenomenal margins, but how much repeat business will there be and for how long is the model sustainable?

Let’s sidetrack for a moment. Look at the offer Microsoft made for Yahoo, $32 a share. Yahoo turned it down. Yahoo’s share price is now $16.50.

Look at MySpace. It collapsed under the rising star of Facebook.

Might not Groupon do the same? My point is ‘Things Happen’.

Marketing wars in this space will become immense. With competition comes decreased margins. I guarantee it.

Look at the disaster in Japan. Those restaurants advertising the New Year’s deal wanted to make a profit but couldn’t, at least based on the images shown. So they offered something they could make a profit on, and look how it turned out. Customers are furious and Groupon did not even understand Japanese culture to know how to respond.

On a basic level, ignoring the disaster in Japan, Groupon is not doing its clients any favors if it bankrupts them in the process. Deals need to be win-win or clients will eventually tell Groupon to go to hell.

In the US, we see pictures of the classic sub sandwich or something like this.


What businesses can afford to offer 90% off and survive? Is that what happened in Japan?

As with all social trends, people (and businesses) will try the latest and greatest thing. However, struggling businesses won’t be social butterflies forever.

What happens after a majority of businesses lose money on it? What happens if competition offers better deals? How quickly might better offers catch on via Facebook or Twitter?

Those are significant risks to Groupon.

Bear in mind, I do like Groupon’s model. However, those margins are not sustainable. Of course Groupon can lower its margins, but then what is it worth? The answer is nowhere near as much, yet far more than if it suffers more disasters like we saw in Japan.


My wealthy entrepreneur friend basically said the same thing, "Groupon's business model is not sustainable. Their business will always be a 'one-off.'" He mentioned that his company did one sale with a Groupon copy company and added, "These sorts of deals are good for dead stock... But if we sold things for 50% off, we don't need their help at all. At half-price, we could sell out very well by ourselves."


Another good friend of mine that runs a restaurant and take-out in Futagotamagawa told me that he was approached by Groupon but said that he declined. He mentioned that his reasons were that another shop owner friend had related to him about his Groupon experiences and said that he wouldn't do it again. He also said that he couldn't work under the margins that Groupon demanded.


(Uh, oh, here I go translating people again! Yikes!) He said, "I am barely making it right now as it is. Sure I need customers, but if I am selling food or drink for 90% off, I am going to lose even more money. I mean, if I sold glasses of draft beer for ¥50 (about $.60 US) then I would have absolutely no problem packing my place without the help of Groupon.... Why should I sell beer for that price and have to pay Groupon a 25% margin when, at those massive discounts, I can pack my place every night without their help?"


I think he has a good point and I wouldn't argue with him at all. Absolutely. If he sold draft beers for ¥50 a glass - even four or five times that price - he'd probably have a packed house every night of the week with people lining up just to get in.... 


He'd also probably be bankrupt with a short time.

Groupon advertises sushi at 97% off.

Let's calculate this together. At a cheap sushi-ya, 

this would cost about ¥300 (about $3.60 US). 

At 97% off, the price would be ¥9. 

Think about that folks. There's no restaurant

in the world who could survive operating off that margin. 

Sure, the idea is to be a loss-leader, but to recover that loss, 

the restaurant must raise prices on the other sushi. 

Buyers for this would be better off, then, to go to a good cheap 

sushi-ya (like Matsu Sushi)

that offers great food and no frills from the beginning. 

Sushi is supposed to be gourmet food... ¥9 for this? 

The photo might look good, but this sounds really bad. 

This all leads me to think that Groupon's business model is not sustainable. Massive discounting is not a long-term successful strategy unless you are Walmart... But Groupon is trying to tie up lots of small businesses. The small businesses cannot survive making these sorts of deep discounts. 


Sure, Groupon makes money and the customers are happy. But this has to be a win-win-win situation all around. How are the clients winning here? I don't see it. Businesses need good repeat customers with disposable income... Coupon clippers that only visit your shop because they got 80% off your sandwich do not strike me as the kind of people who will repeat when the price is back to regular. I mean, why would they go out of their way to buy from your place at regular price unless what you had was great? And, if it was so great, then you wouldn't have needed Groupon to discount the crap out of your product or service as word of mouth will do the job in this day and age.


This leads me to believe that most Groupon clients will be "one offs" - twice at the most. In November, 2010, the NY Times cited a study done that claims close to 50% of former proprietors said they will not participate again and that almost 30% lost money on the deal. 


So the problem with Groupon is that their business model seems flawed. A good business model would be a win-win for Groupon and the client. But, now, as it stands, only Groupon seems to win with these margins as the client cannot stay in business at those rates.... Also, Groupon's business model is not so unique and copy-cats are already popping up all over the place... What's going to happen when, say, Facebook or Google starts their own version? Probably Groupon will go the way of Netscape Navigator. Remember them? 


And that's why I believe Groupon's business model is not sustainable. 


Here's a good article by another writer about the non-sustainability of Groupon.


Read more from Mish Shedlock.   
   

Naked Body Sushi - Nyotaimori

Over at Amazing Cool Pictures, they have a bunch of photos of the "craze" (if you can call it that) of eating sushi off of a naked woman's body.

The article states:

What is sushi : Nyotaimori (Japanese: 女体盛り, "female body presentation"), often referred to as "body sushi," is the extremely rare practice of serving sashimi or sushi from the body of a woman, typically naked. Nantaimori (Japanese: 男体盛り) refers to the same practice using a male model. This subdivision of food play is originally an obscure Japanese practice that has attracted considerable international media attention.

Before becoming a living sushi platter, the person (usually a woman) is trained to lie down for hours without moving. She or he must also be able to withstand the prolonged exposure to the cold food. Before service, the individual is supposed to have taken a bath using a special fragrance-free soap and then finished off with a splash of cold water to cool the body down somewhat for the sushi. In some parts of the world, in order to comply with sanitation laws, there must be a layer of plastic or other material between the sushi and the body of the woman or man.

You can see many more photos (that make me lose my appetite for sushi) here.

I love sushi. But this? No thanks.... If you want pretty darned good sushi for a great price in Tokyo, I'd recommend going here.

Easy Sushi Etiquette Comics

Here's an easy idiot's guide for the Do's and Don'ts of eating sushi. Trust, my friends, that there are many Do's that can change from sushi establishment to sushi establishment, but the Don'ts are pretty universal.

Here's the Do's and Don'ts. Please add comments on your own Do's and Don'ts too!

From I Can Has Internets:

DOUBLE CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGE SIZE

Steak or Pufferfish? Connoisseurs Pick Your Poison

My family and I stopped eating beef about three years ago. The writing was on the wall: Eating beef would kill you. Of course we all know that you can't believe what the government tells you for a second. So when the Japanese government said Japanese beef was okay, and the US government followed suit a year or so later, you knew they were lying. 

American beef producers are up "doo-doo" creek here in Japan. The two biggest importers of US produced beef have announced that they have stopped importing beef from America until the time they "deem it to be safe" (Which means: Until they receive a big enough pay-off to look the other way – until then, forget it.)

But fear not! Japanese consumers are not about to stop eating beef! They will continue to eat it as a delicacy. We have many delicacies in Japan. And beef will soon become one of them!

New Years in Japan: The ritual going to the temple; banging the gong. I did that. I also grabbed one of those little pieces of paper that will tell your fortune for the year. At last, this year will be my luckiest year of my life... "Well it's about time." I think. We burned some incense and prayed to what-ever-God it was we were praying to.

After the temple, my in-laws decide to "really go to town" by taking us to the local "high fallutin'" delicacy restaurant in the entire area: The local "blowfish" restaurant.

I'm not really into eating things that are loaded with deadly neurotoxins. Funny that. But my in-laws are insistent that we go to this restaurant. "It's the best." They say.

Just to bring you up to speed, "Fugu," Blowfish or Pufferfish is one of the most poisonous things you could possibly lay on your palate. The tetrodotoxin is said to be 160,000 times more potent than cocaine! "What's the down side of this argument?" You say? Well let me introduce you to a very famous "Haiku" from Japan:

"Last night he and I ate Fugu,today I carry his coffin."

Japan is very strict as far as granting licenses to people who wish to prepare food. I have met people in America who went to Japan for six months, returned to America and opened sushi restaurants right away. There is no-way in the world that would ever be allowed in this country. I think it requires at least five years working at a sushi restaurant and a few more years working as an "intern" before the Japanese government would ever allow you to have a license to prepare sushi. And if you don't have a license to prepare sushi in Japan, you don't prepare sushi in Japan. Period.

And Blowfish is much more strict. Blowfish is only eaten by the wealthy and the "connoisseurs." Average "Joe-Blow" (like you and me) don't eat blowfish unless it is a very special occasion... Like New Years.

Blowfish poison attacks the central nervous system and there is no antidote. It is said to be 1000 times more powerful than the poison that the Amazon Indians use on their arrows. Why do Japanese people eat this? Why do people climb high mountains in the freezing cold? Good questions.

Another famous "Haiku:"

"A man who is his own sushi chefhas a fool for a customer."

People who get Blowfish poisoning usually lose control of their fingers and hands at first. That's why if someone drops their chopsticks at a Blowfish restaurant, the entire staff will freeze for that split second as if someone dropped a pile of dishes at a Western restaurant.

After that, they lose control of all of their appendages. Their shoulders, arms, and legs begin to have sharp, painful sensations. Their heart and lungs cease to function. Soon they become a sloppy, disgusting, mass of "Jello." After that there's no hope for them. They'll slouch down in their chairs, drooling uncontrollably, and have to be carried out to the dumpster like that days trash. It's not a pretty sight.

So my mother and father in law insist on going to this Blowfish restaurant. I recommend going back home, as there is a comedy re-run on TV, a bag of potato chips, and a few cans of beer in the fridge at home. But no! My wife tells me I am being overly paranoid.

She tells me that the last time someone died from eating blowfish was way back in last year! Yeah, I guess two guys decided that they'd save money and prepare the blowfish at home. Well I'm sure they had a great party.... Lots of laughs and drinks for all.... Sure, they were laughing all the way to their funeral the next day.

Anyhow, we walk into this Blowfish restaurant and it's full of New Years revelers! Can you believe it? These people are poisoning themselves and laughing while doing it! My father-in-law orders some "poison on a plate." I try to drink as much as possible, hoping the alcohol might kill the poison (or kill me first thereby saving the pain).

The Blowfish comes out. I don't wanna touch it. But, after all this is New Years, and I'm with my in-laws. They give me that peer-pressure stuff and force me to eat a bite.... I do...

One bite. That's it. No more.

I bite it. It tastes like.... Well, I don't know what it tastes like. I wash it down. It's gooey. Moments later I start to feel twitching in my shoulders. I drop my chopsticks. I slump over. I’m drooling and slurring my speech.... That always happens to me when I drink too much.

I drink some more. I feel pain. Pain everywhere. My legs, my arms, my head.....

Later on, back at home, I fall into my futon (bed) and pray that I'm not gonna die that night.

My father-in-law walks into the bedroom, points at me, and says to my wife, "What's wrong with him?" My wife, rolls her eyes and says,

"He thinks he's been poisoned by blowfish!"

"Oh, really? comes the reply, "Tell him if he really wants to be poisoned, we'll go eat steak imported from America tomorrow night."

Another Haiku I just wrote:

"Steak or Fugu?connoisseurs pick your poison."

This article originally appeared on Lew Rockwell