Somebody Kill Me! They Now Have AKB48 Dolls for Sale! All 90 of the Girls are Now Dolls!

Argggghhhh! I've died and gone to pop schlock musick hell! The worst music unit, AKB48, since the last one Japan came out with, whoever that was, has now been made into dolls! You know, like Barbie Dolls? I know my friend Ryu Oni over at Monkeyman in Japan will just be dying to get his hands on these!

Someone get me a barf bag!


CS Net Reports: 

What if the vice president of your university were a genius producer who had put together an insanely successful pop group of 90 singers and then approved the creation of identical doll versions of them? (I'd have him killed! - Mike)

Weird? Not for Kyoto University of Art and Design and Yasushi Akimoto, the Steve Jobs of otaku (supergeeks) in Japan. The school just hosted a hit exhibition of dolls based on the gals in the band he produces, AKB48.

At 90 members, AKB48 is the Guinness-certified world's largest pop band. Its members are all females in their teens and early twenties, and all its bubble-gum singles top the charts on the day of their release. (Oh, goody! - Mike)

The music is, shall we say, an aquired taste (Read: it sucks); it sounds like arcade game tunes drenched in a massive one-part vocal harmony. Yet intense otaku fandom has lifted the hydra-headed, miniskirted band to the highest levels of Japanese acceptability. It's even acting as Japan's unofficial representative in China. (War with China, again? - Mike)

I give the new AKB48 dolls "Two thumbs up!"

Yeah, so that I can gouge out my fricking eyes!

What makes this particularly disgusting is that girl's do not like AKB48, just geeky fat nerds in Japan. I'll bet they'll all be undressing the dolls with one hand and playing with their pud (pardon my French) in the other. 

Hell, if the cops are going to be busting people for weird and lurid behavior at SM clubs, why aren't the police stopping this? 


The AKB48 police? Oh, now, I might have just given these people another idea to make money!

Emperor of Japan and the Train Geeks

Yahoo Japan reports that the Emperor of Japan and his wife rode the Japan Railways Train for the first time in two years on the 26th of September.

Trust that in this very enigmatic and ancient country (and sometimes quite often totally bizarro), this is a big deal. You wouldn't think of the Emperor and Empress of Japan along the lines of a huge star like Michael Jackson and such, but, in Japan, they are. Throngs go out to see them wherever they go.

Imperial Train arrives

But that's not the bizarre part.

The bizarre part is the "Tetsudo Otaku" or "Train Geeks." That's right. The "Train Geeks." These are the guys whose hobby is to photograph the various Japanese train lines from millions of different angles and post them on their internet sites. Here's one example. The Train Geeks are hard core fans of rare and unusual trains. Trust that there is no more rare and unusual train in Japan than the one that the Emperor and Empress travel on. The reason being is that this train rarely leaves the roundhouse on tours these days. Also, as one geek wrote, "The train was so shiny! It's was polished on all sides like mirrors. There wasn't a speck of dust!"

Jeepers! Golly! Wow!

In the old days, this train traveled the rails often. But in recent years, due to over-crowding, the regular train rails are filled to capacity and the royal pair often take a train.

They have also, god forbid, had to ride the regular trains too... But, unlike someone like Michael Jackson, they would get an entire car to themselves (Michael Jackson and such would never ride the trains with regular riff raff like you and me). So, when the Emperor and Empress of Japan get on a train at, say, Shibuya station it is a big deal with security and police out in the thousands.

So, now the Geek news in Japan is when and where the imperial couple will ride the train next...

Not only do the regular Japanese want to see the imperial couple, but the Train Geeks want to get that special photo to place on their own website.