Somebody Kill Me! They Now Have AKB48 Dolls for Sale! All 90 of the Girls are Now Dolls!

Argggghhhh! I've died and gone to pop schlock musick hell! The worst music unit, AKB48, since the last one Japan came out with, whoever that was, has now been made into dolls! You know, like Barbie Dolls? I know my friend Ryu Oni over at Monkeyman in Japan will just be dying to get his hands on these!

Someone get me a barf bag!


CS Net Reports: 

What if the vice president of your university were a genius producer who had put together an insanely successful pop group of 90 singers and then approved the creation of identical doll versions of them? (I'd have him killed! - Mike)

Weird? Not for Kyoto University of Art and Design and Yasushi Akimoto, the Steve Jobs of otaku (supergeeks) in Japan. The school just hosted a hit exhibition of dolls based on the gals in the band he produces, AKB48.

At 90 members, AKB48 is the Guinness-certified world's largest pop band. Its members are all females in their teens and early twenties, and all its bubble-gum singles top the charts on the day of their release. (Oh, goody! - Mike)

The music is, shall we say, an aquired taste (Read: it sucks); it sounds like arcade game tunes drenched in a massive one-part vocal harmony. Yet intense otaku fandom has lifted the hydra-headed, miniskirted band to the highest levels of Japanese acceptability. It's even acting as Japan's unofficial representative in China. (War with China, again? - Mike)

I give the new AKB48 dolls "Two thumbs up!"

Yeah, so that I can gouge out my fricking eyes!

What makes this particularly disgusting is that girl's do not like AKB48, just geeky fat nerds in Japan. I'll bet they'll all be undressing the dolls with one hand and playing with their pud (pardon my French) in the other. 

Hell, if the cops are going to be busting people for weird and lurid behavior at SM clubs, why aren't the police stopping this? 


The AKB48 police? Oh, now, I might have just given these people another idea to make money!

Japanese Post Office Approves Licking Soft Porn Idols AKB48 on the Behind!

Now, every guy in Japan can satisfy their wettest of dreams licking the girls in AKB48 in the ass. Well, maybe not every guy, but definitely by every pervert and geek in Japan. For the most disgusting news and proof of the decline of Japan, read on.... 


In another attempt to show people the easy way shore up the flagging fortunes of business, the Japanese postal service shows everyone a novel idea in how to come out of a deep of a mountain of debt! The Japanese Post Office has announced that they've steeped to new lows and will release postage stamps with AKB48 on them. 


So now even you can lick these girls on their behinds!

Woof!

Oooh! Yeah! Makes me uncomfortable and sweaty just thinking about it. 

Kyodo News reports:

New Postage Stamp to Feature AKB48

Japan Post Network Co. is taking orders online and at post offices across the nation for stamp sheets featuring AKB48, the popular all-girl pop group, for distribution in February.

The sets feature the group's Team A, Team K and Team B versions on a made-to-order basis and cost ¥5,700 each. They include seal-type ¥50 stamps plus postcards and letter sets.

AKB48

After accepting orders online through Jan. 9 and at post offices through Jan. 6, Japan Post will send out the sets starting Feb. 1.

Japan Post said it will hold a drawing in which customers can win postcards with members' original autographs.

I remember when I was a kid, I collected stamps (until I figured out that pieces of paper had no intrinsic value and started collecting silver). This would definitely make me stop collecting stamps! I'll be all these pervert dorky Japanese guys who couldn't get a girlfriend if their life depended on it, will buy a set or ten.

Not only will these turkeys buy the sets, they will never use them and just keep them.

The post office knows this and knows they can make a bunch of money for little work. Just print up a bunch of stamps that people will want to collect for their "future value" (cough cough) and there you'll have dumb people just giving you money.

Of course, any other beautiful design idea submissions will be cheerfully "considered."

In spite of my negative reviews, I think this is a much better idea than raising taxes. If the post office has it figured out this far, makes you wonder why the government can't keep doing more things like this to pay for reconstruction after the Tohoku disaster.

I do understand that the Japanese Postal Service is "privatized" but there's gotta be a way for them to get together to work out a deal for reconstruction...

After all, this issue of AKB48 stamps proves a few things:

1) Just when you thought it would be impossible to do, Japanese music, incredibly, gets worse.

2) As a reader recently pointed out that Japanese kids are no longer interested in western culture as they no longer desire to study English, Japanese society and culture is crumbling.

3) Japan is still a rich country.

4) There's still a sucker born every minute (in this case, a "licker"?) 

Japan's Best and Sexist Girl's Rock Band's (Nov. 2011)

It's a Sunday and I have friends coming over for massive drinking and a barbeque. That means I'm pretty booked with sheet to do.

Kinoko Hotel

Nevertheless, here's a blog post that I've wanted to write for quite a while. There are lots of people who think Japanese rock bands suck. Most of them do. But, strange as it may seem, there are lots of really good Japanese rock bands, it's just that they never get hugely popular in this country as Japan is obsessed with stupid crap like AKB48 and girls doing soft porn video.


AKB48 are terrible. Anyone who buys their CDs should be shot (to put them and the rest of us out of our misery).


But, like I said, there are many good Japanese rock bands. Especially sexy girls bands... And there's also a very cool Retro thang going on here that I really like... Oh, and by the way, the best Japanese bands don't sing in English because they don't give a sh*t about the American Top 40... You shouldn't either... I mean, why would any good band want to be like Lady Gaga or Madonna anyway? 


For your Sunday viewing pleasure, here are several. First two up from my current favorite Japanese girl's band (I change favorites weekly)...Enjoy!

Kinoko Hotel - Fool

Kinoko Hotel - Midnight Angel Baby:

Molice - Ms. Panic

The Milkees - Lovelever:

Red Bacteria Vacuum - Roller Coaster:

Thee 50's Highteens - Surprise Sun:

The Let's Go's! - Rock & Roll Star:

Who the Bitch - Summer:

Hell, seriously, there's a lot more! I'll be posting about them too soon. Stay tuned!

Thanks to Ken Nishikawa and George Williams who has the Top 5 countdown online every week.

AKB48 - Japan's Lolita Soft Pornography Fetishism Goes Top 40

In Japan, there's no escaping a girl's pop group called AKB48. They are probably the crappiest one of all so far. This means that they are everywhere. On the trains, TV, magazines, newspapers, convenience stores, etc., etc. They are everywhere. You can't avoid them.


We don't have a TV at my house so I have been pretty well insulated. I do see their pictures on the train and in advertisements, but, since those are printed materials, I don't have to be subjected to their, er, "music".


AKB48 are everything that corporate music crap aspires to be. If you hate corporate schlock as much as I do then you are in for a real treat. Watching an AKB48 music video is like dying and being sent to Pop Music Hell.


If you've ever been searching for a reason to throw your TV set away, then then your time has come... But, then again, maybe not.... Their Youtube video has almost 39,000,000 views!


This video has it all: The sick perversion Japan has with the Lolita Complex... Girls in underwear... Tasteless idiocy, lack of talent (no, make that ZERO talent) and, on top of that, it is so totally uncool I feel like I'm going to be sick.


If I were an 18-year-old kid, I would never watch this crap. This is more embarrassing than Disco was in 1975! 


I'm sure fat Japanese geeks and dorks in Akihabara Electric Town go crazy over this sh*t.

AKB48 - HEAVY ROTATION

"Heavy Rotation"!? Indeed! 

Do these girl's father's know that they are running around in these videos in their underwear? Is this sh*t being sold in Victoria's Secret catalogues in Japan?


I hear that AKB48 has over hundred members "singing" it in now. That's good. Because these types of "artists" have no talent and are no better than human puppets. They are completely disposable so the minute they get a big head or any ideas, the managment of this unit will drop them like a hot potato.

AKB48 Newest video review! 

DJ Mike Rogers says, "Two thumbs up!..."

"...So that I can gouge out my own eyes out so 

that I never have to watch it again."

These girls cannot sing (I'll bet many of them don't actually sing on the music); they do not write the songs, so they get no publishing royalties; and they are paid a salary. Generally speaking these salary payment systems means that they get paid a small amount of money per month and have their apartment paid for.


Once out of the group, they are gone and will disappear into oblivion.


The best example that comes to mind is the girls duo known as Wink from the 1980's - early 90's. The two girls were paid royalties of 1.25% of total record sales (minus their salary and costs - including production for all videos, promotions, etc.) Wink sold over 25,000,000 CDs in Japan yet, after the breakup of the unit, they were basically penniless. The last I heard was one of them was working in a boutique in Sangenjyaya. The other one keeps making attempts at music, some fairly successful, but nothing like their past record...  it's over.

That's what happens to you when you are a human puppet in a group in Japan and paid a pittance.


That's where these faceless girls from AKB48 will be in 4 or 5 years too... Until the next big thing comes along.


But, the way they are going, and judging from this last video, at least the AKB48 girls can make porn videos like the one Keiko did after the breakup of Pink Lady.