First 100 Readers of This Blog Win Free Airfare for Two to Japan - No Hidden Catches! No Gimmicks! No Basis in Reality Whatsoever Either...*

"And, if you believe that..." the story goes...


"Dear winner! Congratulations! You've won $10,000!" At first you are surprised. Your heart skips a beat, then you read the fine print. It says,

"This could be you if you purchase over $250 of "Sports, Bikinis, Barbecue and Hiking Boots" magazine subscriptions over the next 6 months. As one lucky winner will...." Blah, blah, blah....

How many times has this happened to you? 

Your dreams dashed. Of course, it was too good to be true.


You know, in Japan, there is an old saying, "There's nothing scarier than something for free!"


Well you might remember a few months back the campaign announced in the Japanese media and all over the world about 10,000 people winning free airfare to Japan in a Japanese Government Tourism Bureau effort to support flagging numbers of tourists to Japan after the March Fukushima nuclear accident? Well the Japanese government was just kidding about the free vacation... (I reckon that you can deduce that I not the most dependable travel agent in the world either... Chuckle!)

Well, thank god I didn't write about that campaign when it was going on. Why? At the time, I thought something was fishy. Just like you thought something was fishy when you clicked to read this blogpost. Let me pat myself on the back and say that, in October of last year, at the time they announced this foolishness, my first thoughts were that the idea was waste of money; shouldn't we be spending that money on helping the people of Tohoku? What about the Fukushima disaster? And, with our finances in such disorder, where are we going to get this money from in the first place? I also thought, "Who's stupid idea was this?" 


Of course it is/was a stupid idea. A very stupid idea (too good to be true for anyone who "won" - and it was)... (No problem for the government idiots who thought of this... They aren't spending their own money. Why not?)  


But besides the practical concerns, think about the ineptitude: Talk about a BS contest! Imagine winning only to be told, "Oh yes, Mr. Something-or-other, congratulations but we were only kidding about the million dollars!"

The Wall Street Journal reports in Dream For Free Flights To Japan Over (article quotes highlighted in yellow, my snide remarks follow):


Back in October, Japan's national tourism agency floated a plan that seemed an ideal remedy to boost flagging visitor numbers in the wake of the March 11 disasters. 


What!? "..a plan that seemed an ideal remedy?!" What are the these people at Wall Street Journal smoking? Oh, yeah, I forgot. The Wall Street Journal are a bunch of big government wankers too. 


Free flights to Japan in 2012. A full 10,000 of them. 


Over flowing with cynicism: Cheap skates! I knew it! "Why stop at 10,000?" I said at the meeting, "Let's make it 100,000! No! A million, ten million! Free babies, bento and Banzai too!"


Now, as the country crunches through the detail of tight budget numbers for next year, the hope many had for visiting Japan in 2012 has evaporated into a pipe dream: There won't be any free flights next year, period. 


Well, duh. There ain't no Sanity Claus either.


The budget for them has not been approved. Whatever tourism authorities thought a good idea, Japan simply can't afford it, the government's budget planners have concluded. 


Evidence that more government planing will make our lives better!


The Tokyo-based Japan Tourism Agency didn't sugar-coat the decision in a statement on its website late Dec. 26: "The project titled 'Fly to Japan!' (to offer flight tickets to 10,000 foreigners with high potential to communicate Japan's attractions), which had been covered in a number of media in autumn this year, was not approved as a governmental draft budget of FY 2012."  


How about not sugar-coating a message to the Einsteins in the Japan Tourism Agency on their website by writing something like, "You're fired!"


Regular readers of this blog will know that I am extremely skeptical of any pronouncements by the Japanese government (or any government for that matter) and, at the time of this campaign's announcement, I remember thinking, "These clowns have a debt that is over 225% of GDP and now the March 11 earthquake, tsunami and Fukushima nuclear disaster to contend with. Where in the hell are they going to get the money to pay for this?"


Funny that.


Now, what do we who live in Japan and pay taxes for have to show for this idiocy? Well, I haven't any figures, but I know we spent lots of money on promotional items like posters, TV ads, and advertising in publications all over the world (besides the silly posters advertising this campaign that were hung in my local bar in Tokyo - go figure!) so we dumped at least a few hundred thousand dollars on that. Small change, right? No problem. Then, on top of that, we got this bad promotion (or good depending on how you look at it). 


These types of dumb government planned promotions are always a boondoggle. Let me recall a few for you that I remember:


In 1979, at the height of the trade wars with the USA, the Japanese government made stickers and posters and placed them all over Japan's train stations and in taxis. The stickers and posters said, "Import Now!" (as if the average Japanese housewife reads English and/or has any say as to whether or not pots and pans and textiles and steel are imported into Japan from the United States or not.  


Which is much like this campaign that I've seen at my local pub recently. The posters say, "Visit Japan!" I think, "Wow! What a brilliant idea! Promote visiting Japan to people who are already here! Saves them the airfare! Brilliant!"

This poster hangs in my favorite restaurant ... in Tokyo!

The next campaign that I remember Japan spending an exorbitant amount of money on was the Yokoso Japan campaign. Japan must have spent hundreds of millions of dollars on this campaign making videos that were shown (and viewed) a few hundred times on the Internet and seen on American and European TV at times like 5:00 am on a Sunday morning. In fact, I hosted the one about Hiroshima (even though I don't live there!). Uh, don't expect me to show you that one, it was embarrassing (many of the English subtitles were spelled incorrectly and lots of other problems):

Oh well, I suppose we can console ourselves by saying, "At least they tried..." I wish they'd try with their money and not mine next time. People might think I am complaining about the incompetent government, and I am. But, at least in canceling this dumb campaign, they made the right decision. Why in the hell should I have to pay for Joe Six-pack to visit Japan? Does he pay for me to go on vacation to his country?




*That's tue: This contest is a farce and not real... Just like the vacation to Japan contest was also. Sorry.

Japan's Little Boy Peeing Statue (小便小僧 Shoumben Koushou)

This post is for tourists to Japan.... Especially those who are in need of a restroom...


There is something weird about Japan, if you haven't already noticed. But I'm not talking about the usual stuff you see on Youtube or read about in tech geek magazines.... I'm talking about statues of little boys peeing in the train stations around Japan.


Not only are there statues of little boys peeing in public, the Japanese dress up these statues to fit the tastes of the seasons and for promotional campaigns. Fact of the matter is that, even though I see this guy often, I've never seen him naked and without clothes!


The closest one I know about is at Hamamatsucho station on the JR line here in Tokyo. He doesn't really have a name like "Mike" or "Tony" or "Junji" or "Ken," He is merely called "Shouben Kousho" (The Peeing Boy). 


The ancient Japanese story about this boy is that he had drank so much water and he had to pee so bad that he had the longest pee in the history of the universe and so, as the gods would have it, he peed so long that he became petrified in stone.... Nah. Not really. I just made that up. Don't really know what the story is here. Maybe I'll ask the wife.


She said to look it up in Wikipedia. Ok. I did. Here it is, under Mannekin Pis:


There are several legends behind this statue, but the most famous is the one about Duke Godfrey III of Leuven. In 1142, the troops of this two-year-old lord were battling against the troops of the Berthouts, the lords of Grimbergen, in Ransbeke (now Neder-over-Heembeek). The troops put the infant lord in a basket and hung the basket in a tree to encourage them. From there, the boy urinated on the troops of the Berthouts, who eventually lost the battle.


OK. That explains absolutely nothing about why there is this statue at Hamamatsucho station in Tokyo... Excepting the USA bombed the hell out of this station during the war... Maybe that's what all the peeing is about. I know that if I were trying to just get home after work and planes were dropping bombs on us as I waited for the 5:15, I'd probably pee my pants too... Why bother going to the restroom when bombs are dropping all around you? 


Heck, there's lots of legends. Check them at Wikipedia. I think mine is probably the most realistic.


The Peeing little boy statue is peeing on the #3 platform at Hamamatsucho station on the JR East line...

Ah! The hot days of summer! This has to be the longest pee in the history of the universe!

Rainy season brings cooler weather... What a relief!

Dressed up for some campaign

After a hard day's work

Soccer

Christmas... You can see tons more monthly photos of Hamamatsucho station's Peeing Boy statue here at the Gallery (JR浜松町駅　小便小僧　ギャラリー): http://www.minato-cosw.net/syakyou/kozou/

In other parts of Japan, they have their own Peeing Boy statues too. Here's one at Kita-Kyushu station near Fukuoka in Kyushu, southern Japan:

Heavens! That boy is stark raving naked! Someone get that kid some clothes!

Anyway, you usually won't find stuff about the Peeing Boy in tourist magazines and books... But I recommend taking your picture next to him if you come here. Why not? After all, what's wrong with a little boy peeing in public? Unless you are some sort of pervert!


Here's a map to Hamamatsucho station:

Thanks to Nick Bennett

Why I Shuttered my Marketing Agency for Tourism

I had started a new business venture about two years ago. It was a section of my company that was dedicated to tourism and travel and it was a very profitable business actually. Because of my background in the mass media and operating on the receiving end of marketing and advertising companies, I saw how clients were, well, getting ripped off. I knew I do do a hundred times better for clients. I set targets and goals and I saved the clients big money too!


I knew that I could make decent money by arranging huge promotions between client companies for 1/50th the cost of what a major Japanese marketing company like Dentsu or Hakuhodo or even the smaller agencies could do. 


I did arrange many of these campaigns for little cost to my clients. Many were nationwide internet and TV campaigns. Some were huge multi-media tie up with networks, major magazines and non-traditional media. My concept was to find clients that had needs that could be met with a sort of mutual promotional campaign. Everything had to make sense and be organic. Then I spread the costs evenly around to each client. Instead of charging them separately.


So, instead of spending, say $400,000 ~$500,000 (USD) on a campaign (if a sponsor bought it through, say, Dentsu) I could arrange it for $12,000 total or so. I did it too, many times.


Here's a good example:


Domino Pizza Japan wants to get more people ordering online in order to more efficient promote its product and cut down on expenses (telephone ordering is not cost effect nor efficient).


A airlines or foreign tourist board wants Japanese to go to visit their country.


A wine company wants to get the word out on their services.


What should I do? I thought about it and got them together and created a cost effective, mutually beneficial campaign that cost each of these parties next to nothing. 


In this example, I arranged for a vacation to a foreign country for anyone who would join and become a member of the Domino pizza online ordering system. The top winner would get a vacation for two, business class, to a foreign country and hotel. The airline & hotel prize supporting companies would get the massive promotion that goes along with the campaign. The wine company provided all the second place awards: 100 people win a set of quality red & white wine.


The campaign runs for two months!


Domino Pizza prints (get this):
7.8 million newspaper inserts
2 million menus
1.6 million direct email magazine to subscribers
250,000 pizza box top ads
750,000 regular direct mail


Airlines provides 2 business class tickets and 5-star hotel for 4 nights.


Wine company (iwine.jp) provides 200 bottles of quality Coppola wine. 


Cost to Domino if using Dentsu? Approximately $200,000
Cost to airlines if using Dentsu? (considering the reach of ad materials): Approximately $400,000 
Cost to wine company if using Dentsu? Approximately $100,000


My company total charge: $25,000 that's inclusive to all three clients!


You can see the results of this campaign here: http://modernmarketingjapan.blogspot.com/2011/09/two-people-win-vacation-business-class.html


(By the way, the campaign ends on 10/31 so you still have time to join the campaign and win the trip to New York!)


Why did I make these types of campaigns? A two reasons: First, I liked the clients. Second, I think Japanese advertising agency business is way too over priced. If I can help to lower advertising costs, then prices might go down and that makes life better for everyone, no?


But I am thinking about closing this business. 

All vacations come complete with helmet and baton!

Why would anyone close a profitable business, you ask? Well, since it was tied to tourism and travel every time I organize a campaign, something bad would happen:


Here's a list of those bad things:


1) Airlines goes bankrupt
2) Riots in destination cities
3) Huge earthquakes, tsunami and nuke disasters
4) Riots in destination cities


and, finally, 


5) Riots in destination cities, bankruptcies, etc., etc., etc., 


You might think I am just unlucky or have bad timing... But I don't. I am very lucky and have great timing that's why I am out of the tourism and travel advertising business...


Things tied up with tourism don't seem like good ideas in this day and age. The world economy is collapsing and things are getting nasty. As Gerald Celente says, "When people lose everything, they lose it." People are losing it all over the world. Read this from my friend, Mish Shedlock: http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.com/2011/10/occupy-wall-street-protests-go-global.html


... I was about to line up an Italian campaign.... But, after watching that video on Mish's page... I think not!

Help for Lost Tourists in Tokyo!

Finally! Lost tourists at the train stations might get a break! 

The Japan Times reports:

With the opening of an international terminal at Tokyo's Haneda airport later this month, railways are planning to set up information centers for foreign visitors in their new train stations with access to the facility. Keihin Electric Express Railway Co., or the Keikyu Line, said Wednesday it will open a tourist information booth staffed by concierges skilled in English, Chinese and Korean at its station starting Oct. 21.  

I often see these people with maps hopelessly lost and try to lend them a hand. It will be nice to see more visibility in information booths.

Yokoso Japan! Welcome to Japan!

I've been working with some friends on a new project for a travel site on the Internet and trying to acquire domestic promotional videos to be used.

Well, it's been easier said than done.

I have, though, been able to obtain videos from the Japanese government. Though today's particular video is from Internet Archives.

When Junichiro Koizumi was prime minister of Japan, he allocated money to encourage tourism to japan. The project was called, "Yokoso Japan" (Welcome to Japan) and featured many TV programs that were aired all around the world... In fact, I hosted the one about Hiroshima (even though I don't live there!).

Here is the main "trailer" for the series, Yokoso Japan and is a very well made, enjoyable short "trip" to Japan.

Hope you enjoy it!



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Keywords: Yokoso Japan, Junichiro Koizumi, tourism, Mike Rogers, Mike in Tokyo Rogers, Marketing Japan