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Monday, November 14, 2011

Government Control, Fukushima and a Butter Shortage (Again) in Japan


You might wonder what Fukushima has to do with butter... Hopefully, not a lot, and I hope we can keep it that way... 



They say in the hey-days of epitome of the old command and control economy, the Soviet Union, the citizens were often in despair because of a wide and common shortage of basic foodstuffs and everyday goods. Whenever meats or bread would be delivered to any store, people would line up to buy whatever it was on hand and, soon, once again the store shelves would be bare.

Ronald Reagan used to make fun of his Russian counterparts with a story that went something like this:

"They say that production is so bad and so slow that it takes ten years to buy a car in the Soviet Union. Once the papers are filled out and the forms all stamped and signed, one still had to pay off the loan for the car before they could take delivery. 


Well, one day, after signing the forms and getting everything stamped and approved, a young fella asked when he'd get the car after the 10 years payment was finished and the government official said, 'On Dec. 12 of 2021.' The young fella then asked the government official at what time on that day would the car would come? The surprised government official replied, 'You have to wait ten years! What difference does it make morning, day or evening?' To which the young fella replied, 'Because the plumber is coming that day!'"

History proves that government control of the economy is a proven failure, yet people will often demand that the government take control of some industry in distress or come to the aid of the public. 

When will people ever learn that the government can't even fix a hole in the road on time and under budget (witness Japan's debt at 225% of GDP for evidence of that) certainly they cannot or could not, nor would we even want them too, take over a disaster or public nuisance like the crippled Fukushima nuclear power plants... Just to name one such example. 

It never ceases to amaze me how, even in what is ostensibly one of the world's most capitalist societies, Japan, the people will ask for more government control or approve of centralized government control and tinkering with the economy... Especially when it comes to Japan's food supply.

At the end of World War Two, the Japanese government vowed that Japan would never again run out of food. They swore to the Japanese people that they'd never go hungry again. Ever. The solutions to Japan's food problems, the government wonks insisted, called for centralized control of several areas of food production.

Odd thing is that, before and during the war, Japan's government had centralized control of the food production then too and Japan went hungry. 


You'd have thought that someone would have pointed this out. But no.

Fast forward to 2011. Yesterday, I went to the grocery store. There, where the butter always is, the shelves were bare. I asked a clerk and he said that there is a shortage so only one per customer and that you had to ask for it at the checkout counter. 

Government idiots! 

We just had a butter shortage a few years ago due to government meddling. 



The butter shortage results from a chain of events. When the country suffered an overproduction of milk in 2006, the government ordered about 1,000 tons of raw milk poured down the drain and dairy cows slaughtered to prop up prices and defend local milk farmers. Dairy prices were then managed to retain their advantage to imported milk and butter, whose prices were inflated by tariffs. (To protect domestic butter, the tax on imported butter went up twice last year. There is a nearly 30% tariff on butter imports.)



But now grain-feed prices have risen as a result of a drought in Australia as well as the accompanying use of corn for ethanol, which has reduced the amount available for feed for Japan's cows. The drought has also cut back on milk that would have been imported to supplement the Japanese market. Combined with competing demand for milk and milk products from emerging markets in China and Russia, the result is a collapse of the local butter production in Japan.

In 2008, when this became a big row, the government said they'd take care of it and that it would never happen again. Here it is 2011 and we have another butter shortage...

Think about this, folks... These clowns in government cannot even take care of our butter production, is there anyone who is still in favor of the Japanese government nationalizing a serious priority problem like Fukushima? 

One would hope that even 2 seconds of consideration of this question most people would say, "Absolutely not!"


We need much less government control of our lives and the economy if we are going to get out of our current malaise.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

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Saturday, November 12, 2011

Japan's Little Boy Peeing Statue (小便小僧 Shoumben Koushou)

This post is for tourists to Japan.... Especially those who are in need of a restroom...


There is something weird about Japan, if you haven't already noticed. But I'm not talking about the usual stuff you see on Youtube or read about in tech geek magazines.... I'm talking about statues of little boys peeing in the train stations around Japan.


Not only are there statues of little boys peeing in public, the Japanese dress up these statues to fit the tastes of the seasons and for promotional campaigns. Fact of the matter is that, even though I see this guy often, I've never seen him naked and without clothes!


The closest one I know about is at Hamamatsucho station on the JR line here in Tokyo. He doesn't really have a name like "Mike" or "Tony" or "Junji" or "Ken," He is merely called "Shouben Kousho" (The Peeing Boy). 


The ancient Japanese story about this boy is that he had drank so much water and he had to pee so bad that he had the longest pee in the history of the universe and so, as the gods would have it, he peed so long that he became petrified in stone.... Nah. Not really. I just made that up. Don't really know what the story is here. Maybe I'll ask the wife.


She said to look it up in Wikipedia. Ok. I did. Here it is, under Mannekin Pis:


There are several legends behind this statue, but the most famous is the one about Duke Godfrey III of Leuven. In 1142, the troops of this two-year-old lord were battling against the troops of the Berthouts, the lords of Grimbergen, in Ransbeke (now Neder-over-Heembeek). The troops put the infant lord in a basket and hung the basket in a tree to encourage them. From there, the boy urinated on the troops of the Berthouts, who eventually lost the battle.


OK. That explains absolutely nothing about why there is this statue at Hamamatsucho station in Tokyo... Excepting the USA bombed the hell out of this station during the war... Maybe that's what all the peeing is about. I know that if I were trying to just get home after work and planes were dropping bombs on us as I waited for the 5:15, I'd probably pee my pants too... Why bother going to the restroom when bombs are dropping all around you? 


Heck, there's lots of legends. Check them at Wikipedia. I think mine is probably the most realistic.


The Peeing little boy statue is peeing on the #3 platform at Hamamatsucho station on the JR East line...

Ah! The hot days of summer! This has to be the longest pee in the history of the universe!

Rainy season brings cooler weather... What a relief!

Dressed up for some campaign


Soccer

Christmas... You can see tons more monthly photos of Hamamatsucho station's Peeing Boy statue here at the Gallery (JR浜松町駅 小便小僧 ギャラリー): http://www.minato-cosw.net/syakyou/kozou/

In other parts of Japan, they have their own Peeing Boy statues too. Here's one at Kita-Kyushu station near Fukuoka in Kyushu, southern Japan:

Heavens! That boy is stark raving naked! Someone get that kid some clothes!


Anyway, you usually won't find stuff about the Peeing Boy in tourist magazines and books... But I recommend taking your picture next to him if you come here. Why not? After all, what's wrong with a little boy peeing in public? Unless you are some sort of pervert!


Here's a map to Hamamatsucho station:




Thanks to Nick Bennett

John Belushi, Japan and Me - or How the Movie Animal House Changed My Life

John Belushi and I have a long running, very old relationship. Seriously, we do. I first "met" John Belushi in 1975 on the set of Saturday Night Live. He wasn't famous then but John Belushi would go on to influence my life greatly since that time. Of course, when I say, "met," I don't mean in person. We only met on the TV screen..


Let me explain the intricate details of how John Belushi influenced my life and how his life and mine have intertwined repeatedly over all these years... Mostly through excessive drinking, humor and an unshaven, slovenly lifestyle... John Belushi made me see that, if you want to do something great, you just can't follow the rules. You have to break those rules... And you have to be decisive in doing so... No matter what the bosses or "authorities" say, you have to be wild and outrageous if you want to do something really special and unique.


If you want to be special and do something really different, then you can't do what everyone else is doing. You have to go for the "gusto!" Watching John Belushi taught me to do that... Sometimes, it got me in big trouble with bosses, but the results have always been good. Like Francis Ford Coppola once said, "The things you get fired for at 20-years-old, are the things you are celebrated for at 50-years-old." I want to be celebrated. Who doesn't? Life is short.


Because of my former job producing and co-hosting the highest rated and most popular FM radio morning drive time show in Tokyo, Good Morning Garage (GMG) from 2006 ~ 2009, I still, to this day, sometimes meet people who know who I am and ask for my autograph. No! Really! I do! I'm not making this up. Honest! Please believe me! Really! Would I lie to you?


Had I never "met" John Belushi, nor been so influenced by him, this situation would have never happened.


ANIMAL HOUSE (1978)
Animal House came out in 1978. I graduated from HS in 1975 then went to city college and worked for two years before seeing this movie. Because of this film, I decided that I just HAD to go to university. I did join a frat too... But they kicked me out after a few weeks... Losers!


It is proof that that morning FM radio show was hugely popular because people don't usually know what radio DJ's look like, but that show was so popular that we were sometimes on TV and in magazines too! So some people knew our faces and what we looked like.


But let me continue the story...


One time, about a year or two ago, I was riding the train home and, across from me sat a young, pretty housewife. She looked at me and smiled several times. She even said "Hi!" I figured she was a fan of the former show and so I said, "Hi!" back. She kept on smiling and acting embarrassed and shy. I smiled.


"Gee!" I thought... I wonder if she is the type for some "randy" action? You never know about these radio-show-fan women! I wondered what it would be like to "Get it on, bang a gong, get it on" with her?" I mused like Marc Bolan on a majestic white steed. 


The train ride continued and she kept smiling shyly at me and I smiled back while imagining all sorts of "games." I kept fantasizing about me and her going on a whirlwind date and drinking and making wild love together... Even though she wasn't really my type, I supposed that she might be hot love in the sack.


When the train reached my stop I got up to get off. To my surprise, so did she. We both walked to the train door and, as we walked off the train she said, "You probably don't remember me..."


"Of course, I do..." I glanced her a impish grin. I figured she was a fan and, well, who knows where that could lead too? I leaned dangerously close to her like a lecherous cartoon fox so where we could have closer eye contact... My right eyebrow curled with menacing approval.... 


She bubbled, "I'm a good friend of Yuka, your wife. I'm in the neighborhood mothers association. I've even been to your house before. Remember?"


I immediately stood up straight and began rubbing my eyes. I sneezed. "Allergies, you know!... I, er, uh,..." One second I was within 1 foot of her, the next second I was six feet apart... Of course, I remember!" I gasped. "Your name is.... er...?"


She told me her first name (can't remember what it was) but I acted like I knew the first name. I asked her what her last name was! She told me that too, but I can't remember that either.... Oh well...


So, you see. I sort of have to be careful with what I am doing... For one, I can't have my wife's friend's gossiping about how I am having affairs with all sorts of women when I am not - excepting in my imagination... And for two, I'm so bad with names and faces that I think it might suck royally if I wake up in bed in some hotel with some woman only to realize it's my next door neighbor... 


Now that might be bad for public relations and neighborhood tranquility...


Now, you might ask, "Mike! What does this have to do with John Belushi?" Not much on the surface, perhaps, but it does have very much to do with him if you dig down deep into the past...


Here's why...


About an hour ago, I was at a supermarket buying a couple of bottles of booze. (Disclaimer: I was already a tad bit drunk). There, a young housewife looked at me several times and smiled. I smiled back.


She looked at me and smiled again at me several times. "Wow! She's definitely my type! The old Rogers magic is still there!" I thought. 


"Until we meet again!" I thought as I walked out the store. She smiled again as I walked out and looked back.


Then I came home and looked in the mirror. My eyes are bad. Maybe she wasn't smiling. Maybe she was laughing.


Or, since all gaijins looks alike, maybe that lady thought I was John Belushi.


(Left) John Belushi in Animal House: Unshaven. Hair fashionably a disaster. I've always liked that guy. (Right) Me: Unshaven. Hair fashionably a disaster.

This might seem like it has zero to do with Japan, but looks can be deceiving. This has a lot to do with me and Japan and here's why:

If I had never seen the movie Animal House, I'd have never gone to university. Had I never gone to university, I'd have never met all those hot Japanese girls at my dormitory. Had I not met them, I'd have never gotten interested in studying Japanese. 

Had I not studied Japanese, I'd have never met my Japanese wife. Had I not met her, I'd have never gone to Japan. Had I not gone to Japan, I'd have never moved here.

Typical Japanese University Student
(Yukie Kawamura)

Had I not moved here, I'd have not had my rendezvous with fate tonight with that hot young housewife who smiled at me.

Had our hearts not met for a few moments tonight, I'd have not have thought about John Belushi. Had I not thought about John Belushi, I'd have not looked in the mirror.

Had I not looked in the mirror, I wouldn't have immediately had a shave and now, because of shaving and showering, I look "normal" (well, as normal as I can look!) I have to look normal because guests are coming over.

I hate being normal.

I love John Belushi.

And now you know about John Belushi and me. When was John Belushi ever "normal"? I don't want to be normal... So that's why he is my hero and my life's inspiration.... And that's how Animal House changed my life...

Oh, and Repo-Man reinforced those changes...

"Look at 'em, ordinary fucking people, I hate 'em." - Bud (from Repo-Man)




*NOTE: Of course the stories about the women being interested in me and vice versa are all a part of any writer's (or drunk's) vivid imagination and artistic license... These events are not to be confused with actual events....



Thanks to George Williams, Taro Furukawa, Hiroko Wakana, Takatoshi Uchiyama, Megane kun and all the GMG fans

Japan's Best and Sexist Girl's Rock Band's (Nov. 2011)

It's a Sunday and I have friends coming over for massive drinking and a barbeque. That means I'm pretty booked with sheet to do.


Kinoko Hotel


Nevertheless, here's a blog post that I've wanted to write for quite a while. There are lots of people who think Japanese rock bands suck. Most of them do. But, strange as it may seem, there are lots of really good Japanese rock bands, it's just that they never get hugely popular in this country as Japan is obsessed with stupid crap like AKB48 and girls doing soft porn video.


AKB48 are terrible. Anyone who buys their CDs should be shot (to put them and the rest of us out of our misery).


But, like I said, there are many good Japanese rock bands. Especially sexy girls bands... And there's also a very cool Retro thang going on here that I really like... Oh, and by the way, the best Japanese bands don't sing in English because they don't give a sh*t about the American Top 40... You shouldn't either... I mean, why would any good band want to be like Lady Gaga or Madonna anyway? 


For your Sunday viewing pleasure, here are several. First two up from my current favorite Japanese girl's band (I change favorites weekly)...Enjoy!


Kinoko Hotel - Fool




Kinoko Hotel - Midnight Angel Baby:

Molice - Ms. Panic


The Milkees - Lovelever:


Red Bacteria Vacuum - Roller Coaster:


Thee 50's Highteens - Surprise Sun:


The Let's Go's! - Rock & Roll Star:


Who the Bitch - Summer:

Hell, seriously, there's a lot more! I'll be posting about them too soon. Stay tuned!


Thanks to Ken Nishikawa and George Williams who has the Top 5 countdown online every week.



Friday, November 11, 2011

Best Place for Up-to-the-Minute Radiation Readings for All of Japan

In English 日本語もあり ここです (http://blog.safecast.org/ja/)。 Nationwide readings. Proper measurements by independent worldwide volunteer organization called Safecast. If that link doesn't work, see: http://blog.safecast.org


There have been many recent stories of high radiation readings in Tokyo that were proven to be not related to Fukushima. For example, false alarms in the water, in Tokyo's Setagaya Ward, and a litany of others, Safecast data proves that Tokyo is well within safe limits and has lower radiation levels than major international cities such as Rome, Italy or Hong Kong, China.


PBS recently featured Safecast:



From Youtube:


Eight months after a tsunami caused a nuclear accident in Japan, ordinary people are using new technology and the power of crowdsourcing to find radiation hotspots. NewsHour science correspondent Miles O\'Brien reports from Japan.


The results still show several danger zones in and around Fukushima... The Tokyo areas show completely safe levels. Please check your area for yourself.

Dancing With the Stars, Spray Tans, Mindless American TV

Every morning, like clockwork, I turn on my computer to do work and to write this blog. Every morning I see something on the top page of Yahoo that just makes me roll my eyes. (Yes, I know everyone uses Google, but I use Yahoo to get the financial and stock market news).


Everyday, at the top of the page, Yahoo has their 5 "hot" stories. These are always incredibly stupid and useless. Usually it is about an unusual football play (when, upon clicking, you see that it is not so unusual at all)... Or it it about some idiocy involving some Hollywood person getting a divorce or the dress s/he is wearing or something else.


Here's what was at the top of Yahoo this morning: $2.5 million dollar bra, Wal-Mart's sales, Golfer gets angry, 10 strange sports venues, Billy Crystal hosts Oscars? Hoo hum...


In a few words, God! American society is stupid! 


You know this stuff is there because Yahoo is "giving people what they want"... There is never any news about anything that actually matters.


But sometimes, even Yahoo can have something so stupid, so asinine that it irritates me to hell. Yesterday had a link to the person who does the tanning for the people on "Dancing With the Stars"! Jesus! I just have to read about that! 


The article is just Hollywood fabulous. Let me quote:


Each season of "Dancing With the Stars" features a revolving line-up of contestants and professional dancers, but one thing remains the same: spray tans are a big part of the show. And that's where Julie Nostrand, the owner of South Seas Skin Care, comes in. All season long, she's spent every Sunday flying from Loveland, Colorado, to Los Angeles, to ensure celebs look luminous in the ballroom and in front of the camera. omg! caught up with Nostrand to find out more about what the stars do to get glam.


Isn't that just ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz......... Oh, where was I?


No wonder the USA is all f'ed up. Ask Anyone says the average American watches 6.7 hours of TV a day!!!!


Average American watches 6.7 hours a day of TV.


How, in the hell could anyone spend 1/3 of their waking time on TV?


But for more, er, "serious" info let's go to our Neilsen ratings: 


According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube.

The average child will watch 8,000 murders on TV before finishing elementary school. By age eighteen, the average American has seen 200,000 acts of violence on TV, including 40,000 murders. At a meeting in Nashville, TN last July, Dr. John Nelson of the American Medical Association (an endorser of National TV-Turnoff Week) said that if 2,888 out of 3,000 studies show that TV violence is a casual factor in real-life mayhem, "it's a public health problem." The American Psychiatric Association addressed this problem in its endorsement of National TV-Turnoff Week, stating, "We have had a long-standing concern with the impact of television on behavior, especially among children."

Millions of Americans are so hooked on television that they fit the criteria for substance abuse as defined in the official psychiatric manual, according to Rutgers University psychologist and TV-Free America board member Robert Kubey. Heavy TV viewers exhibit five dependency symptoms--two more than necessary to arrive at a clinical diagnosis of substance abuse. These include: 1) using TV as a sedative; 2) indiscriminate viewing; 3) feeling loss of control while viewing; 4) feeling angry with oneself for watching too much; 5) inability to stop watching; and 6) feeling miserable when kept from watching.

OK, 4 hours a day or 6.7 hours a day of watching TV!? Are you kidding me? Don't these people work? How can anyone, in this day and age, have the time to watch that much TV? Why would anyone want to watch that much TV? These people are truly sick, especially when they feel miserable when they cannot watch enough TV!


What's to watch on TV? Nothing good.


I heard from my friend who works at NHK that recent surveys in Japan show that the average Japanese under 30-year-old watches an average 20 minutes of TV per day.


If these statistics are true then the USA is definitely done for. People in the USA no longer read books, they don't know their basic geography. They don't know the difference between John and Yoko staying in bed to protest the war or Lenin doing the same. They think Falafel is a political party in Pakistan and the people in Eye-rack had nooklar weapons.


They think Mexico is in Central America even though Central America doesn't exist... And, they think Napoleon is an ice-cream sundae at 31 Flavors. They couldn't pick out "Grease" on a map of Europe and don't care about "Cheese eating surrender monkeys" anyway. 


As Fred Reed writes in Dark Ages:



The night closes in. Read the surveys of what children know, what students in universities know. Approximately nothing. We have become wanton morons. As the intellectual shadows fall again, as literacy declines and minds grow dim in the new twilight, who will copy the parchments this time?


No longer are we a schooled people. Brash new peasants grin and peck at their iPods. Unknowing, incurious, they gaze at their screens and twiddle, twiddle. They will not preserve the works of five millenia. They cannot. They do not even know why.


Twilight really does come. Sales of books fall. Attention spans shorten. Music gives way to angry urban grunting. The young count on their fingers when they do not have a calculator, know less by the year. We have already seen the frist American generations less educated than their parents. College graduates do not know when World War One happened, or what the Raj was. They have read nothing except the nothing that they read, and little of that. Democracy was an interesting thought.


Ours will be a stranger Dark Age than the old one. Our peasants brush their teeth and wash, imagine themselves of the middle class, but their heads are empty.


We are witnessing the end times for the USA as we've known it for all these years.... It's too bad that, when the drunken giant in the room finally collapses, his fall is going to break everything on everyone else's tables.